Writing this months journal coincided with me finally getting round to reading a book that I had had on my bookshelf for around four years, the theme of which I hadn’t quite realised I was looking for; how to create a new story and release the old one. I’d suddenly had this strong urge to finally pick it up and read it (Synchronicity in action, save that one for another time!)…..as I said, the book is about the breakdown of old stories and the creation of new ones, and how the two stories have to go through a period of intermingling and blending as we step forward & back or “in & out” of old and new. So that eventually, we slowly, in time, are able to live more and more in the new story. Ideally the new story being one with more awareness surrounding it, more awareness of who we truly are and in knowing that comes increased Inner Confidence and also a sense of Self Love. The book itself is in relation to the old story underlying our current society, systems, institutions, the ever present reality of climate change, but at the base level he says (and I agree wholly!), that it is our own individual “story” and the need to look at THAT story, where true change lies. When I say ‘look’, I mean really “look” at it, observe it, question it, and in doing so, we are able bit by bit to see what no longer serves us. To start to see our patterns of behaviour that hurt us, and perhaps others, the negative self talk that limits our dreams, ties us down. And when we begin to do this we can start to like ourselves a little more, we can begin to allow ourselves the opportunity to believe in our dreams and our talents, to believe in our uniqueness, in our possibilities, rather than our limitations. In doing so, by changing ourselves we start to believe in others too, we see the good in others more readily and slowly we can begin to change the world immediately around us.
Sounds like pretty big stuff!! And of course It can sound a little too much to ask of each of us, but yet if we credit ourselves with some basic truths such as “I do have talents. I matter. I am important. And the ultimate, I am enough!…which is then a more solid, loving base within us from which to live from.
We can only ever change ourselves after all. That is a fact, one we all know, yet we often forget!
But, how hard is this?? Creating change and initiating change is tough right?!!! And so I thought it may be helpful to share a few things I’ve learnt along the process of my own choosing to create a new ‘story’, and the experiences I have had around some big choices made to create some pretty big changes in my life. Now, I’m not about to share all the nitty gritty details, although some may help for context, but its more about the tools, and the approaches that I’ve really had to lean into, and in turn these have proved to be invaluable. Really this is what I’ve really understood, is the importance of meditation, or some form of practise that connects us to True Self. Without the teachings and the trainings of this ancient long standing practice, and Yoga in all its modalities, I would have struggled for sure, because it would have required such immense willpower. And willpower alone is like dragging yourself into change, it dosen’t hold lasting impact because its acting through force. Without my daily practise, I know I’d have given up! Plus, and most importantly, I very likely would never have learnt much about myself along the way. If we don’t receive this learning, then change has to repeat itself in order to heal. It is this aspect of change that is so important, the Self Awareness aspect, that is necessary to create lasting change.
Why is this “learning about myself” aspect so important? Because, when we choose to create big changes. When we start to create a new story, there’s an old one that starts to unravel, it HAS to, and thats the part that’s tough. That “letting go” we all hear about on any spiritual teaching, is the really tough part. Its an unlearning and undoing of all those old truths about who we think we are, and it can be quite painful, it is painful….and so, without these tools, I know I would have very likely given up by now! And in the giving up on my dreams and of what felt important to me in life, meant the old story would be winning out. If the old story wins out, then nothing really changes and we can be left feeling disappointment, shame, guilt, resentment. Remember, the old story is the ego, and our ego is a tricky thing!! Which brings me to an important reminder around the ego; that it is simply trying to keep us ‘safe’, and unfortunately its definition of ‘safe’ perhaps equals; “stay the same, do nothing differently, its all too scary!” So when we decide that we are not happy in our story, its this that we have to be willing to confront, and to comfort; our ego, our version of who we think we are. Which is no mean feat, because we’ve been creating this ‘story’ of ourselves since we were very little!
Spoiler alert here, there really is nothing new in this reflection! No “new” technique to wave like a magic wand, but what you might find is a little resonance and more understanding of old wisdoms and tools through the words that I use, or the references I make? All you need to do is to nurture that little part, that perhaps lights up with a sense of knowing, that little part of you that brings some ‘wonder’ and curiosity into your consciousness every day, and still believes anything is possible, truly. An invitation to slowly turn away from your cynicism and start instead to turn towards your own wonderful Self.
So let’s start with ‘story’, or rather the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves, or as one of my favourites, Marissa Peer would say; “the lies we tell ourselves, about ourselves”! They are so inbuilt in our subconscious its often very hard to decipher them, or even acknowledge their existence. Yet, usually we’ll reach a place in Life where we just ‘know’ our story is “off”, we’re just not settled, content, things don’t feel joyful, Life feels like a slog or hard. We may start to feel that growing sense of dissatisfaction, unfulfillment and maybe, perhaps we’re arriving at a place where we are struggling to ignore the invitation to look at whats there. Painful as it may be.
We are creating stories all day, everyday with our thinking. The stories that tend to hold us back will have been created at a very vey early age, as babies even, and as we have grown these stories evolve and become stronger as we unconsciously begin living from them.
Note here the use of the word “unconscious”, this is important, we don’t develop these stories consciously, if we did they wouldn’t cause us hurt, yet until we become aware of them, they are running the show. Sitting in our subconscious mind….stories such as;
I don’t matter
I’m not good enough, clever enough, pretty enough, intelligent enough…this list goes on….!
It really is this simple that our unhelpful stories all have a very basic, a very simple statement running underneath them ,that affects us in our everyday lives until we can ‘see’ it.
A relevant snippet of my story, from when I first met my teacher Mei and first experienced Metaphysical Counselling. I remember I was looking at a Life Coaching training. It was based in Singapore, had all the “high flying, successful” elements that I ‘thought’ was necessary to succeed in it. Basically, my known version of ‘success’, and what ‘success’ was supposed to look like, according to my story up until that point! I was working in fashion, with lots of travelling and then living overseas. And so even as I began to imagine my new story, which was supposed to be my escape from ‘corporate land’, it still very much held all the old elements of my current ‘story’! Like a continuing thread, maintaining who I was, but just with a job title change!?! Remember though, at this point I’m completely (sort of!) oblivious to this, it was a blind spot. Yet when I began this holistic approach to counselling, I had such an incredible powerful, experience, I had to sit up and pay attention. I felt compelled to cancel my pursuit of the “high flying Singapore” course and switch to Metaphysical training, yet my ‘story’ felt threatened, it felt like a very scary choice. That version of success suddenly began to wobble, I wobbled and I recall asking Mei, “what if everyone things I’ve become some weird hippy ‘sort’?”……I mean now I don’t care, I believe in it, it works, but back then it went against the ‘version’ of me that I had always known. It threw up a number of limiting beliefs around many topics in life. One of those being that a ‘successful career’ could only mean “corporate, overseas and stressful”, including as a Life Coach!!!?!
Underneath that was another limiting belief, that “you can only command a high wage IF there is sacrifice involved, and not of the good kind, I’m talking time with family, balance in work, rest and play, all the important stuff. I’d previously created and lived a story that meant sacrifice of the important things was necessary in order to be a ‘success’! Layer down further and a basic belief that “its impossible to build a successful prosperous career doing what you love”!!
No wonder I’d always had that nagging feeling at the core of me to know a different way. A more balanced, joyful and content way to live and work.
I think back now and smile, because I had NO idea how much of my story had begun to unravel and that it was really only the beginning. Further down the path was many, many, many more challenges, some pretty serious. Yet, there was this teeny little part of me that knew this was something special! That gut instinct was so strong to switch my training to be in Metaphysical Counselling, I couldn’t ignore it, however uncomfortable it felt, whatever I thought people might think of me! It also meant I was starting to walk towards a way of working and living that felt more authentic, more aligned with truths I wasn’t even yet fully embracing at that point. So, despite the unusual, slightly ‘hippy’ title, I followed my intuition. Despite the discomfort in my thinking, and the shifting away from my old story, I went with the change of plans and decided to start my training in Metaphysical Counselling.
As I mentioned earlier, that was the easy part!! I was excited, I felt inspired, I felt brave, I also felt pretty damn scared but change IS scary, it is all of these things. Another important lesson I learnt, was that it also felt right in my body. For the first time I felt connected to myself, it felt good inside. This was something quite new also, luckily my Yoga training and practise had already begun to release the magic and pave the way for a daily practise. At t the time I didn’t fully appreciate it, but it was grounding me, it was releasing old patterns before I even knew it, at the base level of Body & Spirit. It is so important that we have the tools, the techniques to keep us believing in ourselves and in the possibilities that could be just ahead of us. However, we aren’t taught to live this way as kids (in the West anyway), and our brains aren’t even wired to think that way. We are wired, as I mentioned above, to stay safe, to stay in the known, to be the same, and thats all valid because as humans back when we were living in tribes, stepping outside of that was stepping into danger. It goes against our survival mechanisms in our brains and we still have those within us today. Hence its no wonder that getting uncomfortable in life triggers us so intensely, and makes creating change feel impossible at times.
BUT, it is possible.
It IS possible, that we can create a new story for ourselves. IF we are willing to take on board a few ancient wisdoms and truths. Notably, the truth that we are more than just our thoughts. That there is something larger than us connecting and living through everything, and that if we are here in this world today, its because someTHING is breathing us, and we are supposed to be thriving. We are supposed to be learning and using our unique blend of gifts and talents in order to create a reality that nourishes us. Not one that depletes us!
So, this (after a waaaaay longer than planned intro!) is what have I learnt along the way and am still learning. And, I’m sharing this, not because I think my story is particularly amazing, but because we all need stories to inspire us, we need to hear that someone else was or is trying to do things differently. We need to hear the stories that are still evolving, regardless of goals being met, people are at varying stages of creating change, and within that are many fails, but also many wins. Its not always about the final success stories, but the ones that are part way along that are more relatable, more real for us. In truth it really never ends, we’re just trained to think its all about goals and end games, but with time along the way, we release that little by little. Its more transient than that, its ever evolving, and so stories of others trying to create something that we are drawn to do, are helpful. We need those stories, because its pretty scary creating a new story! I needed these stories, I needed to believe it was possible, otherwise I’d have buckled at the first sign of failure, and given up because when your begin questioning that “perfectly” (mostly unconsciously) created “version” of you, things wobble, and really all you have is your dreams, and your belief in something different to fall back on. Otherwise, the old story feels like the easier option to default back into, and we need to keep nourishing that little part of us that believes. We need these stories.
In Metaphysics, this time of chaos and challenges that tend to show up, when we begin to question our ‘story’, is called “chemcalisation”. We have, quite literally begun to stir up the mud that sits at the bottom of that clear glass of water. By dreaming of, and imagining change, and believing its possible for us to begin creating it, we have started to stir up that old story, by allowing new clear water to be poured into our metaphorical cup. Now, we are gonna feel that mud, and some of what it contained, BUT in the process of new clear clarity flowing in, that old ‘mud’ will eventually begin to leave, as the water overflows. And, when that happens, there is a little less “mud”, there is less of the old story, there is a little more room for us to believe in what we know to be true. This is the beauty of that phrase “creating space”.
Quote by Lao Tzu “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”
I’ve often wondered why we seem to have to go through a ‘crises’ to really touch and see our potential, and start to believe in ourselves more. And, the ‘mud’ analogy kind of makes sense for me. We have all been raised and lived in families, societies, countries etc with a certain set of ‘rules’ for life. If we as unique wonderful human beings didn’t learn to conform at some point, we could quite literally find ourselves out in the wild, alone. So, we compromise our dreams, our ambitions, we contort ourselves into ‘roles’ we think we should do, be etc and then one day we find ourselves thinking “Why do I feel unfulfilled?”, I have all the accolades of what looks like ‘success’, but I’m not happy! The “mud” is these old ‘rules’, the ones that kind of squashed us, without us fully realising it. So whilst we can’t make it disappear, instantly, what we can do, is work with it, to transform it, allow it to stir up, allow more truth in, allow the clearing, and know that out the other side is a more aligned version of us.
When I say ‘aligned’ I mean living each day with more Balance, more Joy, more Harmony, more Health …and my favourite; living with more EASE.
Also, a brief nod to the second part of the quote, “right action” (again a whole other journal to come!)…but worth simply saying. During the breaking down of old stories we can tend to feel frantic in our ‘doing’, jumping to take action quickly as we try, again unconsciously, to try to hold it all together! We eventually arrive at a place of giving up, and at that point the part of the quote, about remaining “unmoving” applies. We listen inwards, to our intuition and begin to take action that ‘feels’ right, probably take less action, its less frantic, but we are moving into flow, synchronicity, the energy begins to change and we are starting to see a way through.
Now, I would love to say we only have to do this once in a lifetime!! Sorry, not quite, but with each layer (or teaspoon of mud that we transform) we heal and create a greater sense of ease, of inner confidence. Allowing you to hold more trust and confidence through the challenges that may arise. This was another huge part of my journey, situations that were unravelling were insanely stressful, but with my shift in perspective there was this new sense of calm underlying everything. I could get back to that place within with more ease. That place that Knows, somehow, its going to be ok. Its true to to say that when I began this journey, that “place within” was pretty non existent, I didn’t know how to reach for it, how to feel into it, and thats all in the learning we build each day with a practise. Now, I can’t give you facts and figures, and ‘prove’ anything, I just know that I had been cultivating my ‘Spiritual Muscle’ for some years at this point, and that meant the words “To hold faith” now did hold a much deeper meaning, a deeper sense of Knowing. I could sit with the discomfort, allow my body to feel it, honour it, observe it, and allow it to ease as it moved through. Even begin to thank it for the lessons I was starting to see.
In my humble opinion, I feel an initial ‘crisis’ is what opens the doors to possibility, if we are willing to listen. Then, if we are willing to grow our awareness, work on ourselves and begin to take responsibility in healing our own ‘stuff’, bravely looking at what exists in these taught unconscious belief systems, then thats the unlearning that we can allow to follow. Its in this unlearning, the breaking down of our old ‘story’ that is both the pain and the joy. If we can find some courage to do that, then we create change naturally, it cannot be helped. Baby-step, by baby-step we walk through it and towards a different version of ourselves. In fact, the change we thought we had meticulously planned out, suddenly can take us down twists and turns of its own choosing, after all IT knows the way better than we do! But, we are able to allow that, learning that other classic teaching, that we can begin to enjoy the ride, let go of the outcomes, and let Life show us the way through challenges. Leading us to places and experiences that are possibly better than we could even have previously imagined.
As a result of all my “unlearning”! I was in truth being given the chance to “practise what I preach”, using the practises that I’d learnt through my Yoga, My Metaphysical training, my Awareness teaching and of course leaning into my teachers when I needed that support, I realised this:
The old tools, the old wisdoms, they have survived for a reason! They bloody well work!!!
So, as I said earlier, you won’t find anything new here!! Let me make that clear! I’m not offering a ‘new’ way to throw off the old story and instantly create a new one pain-free!! Quite the opposite, having had the chance to experience ‘change’ in all its challenges, I simply want to convey that what I previously “learnt” to be true, to be helpful, is now what I “Know” to be True. That what the ancient Yogi’s and Mystics knew, is as relevant today as it was then, and if we all just stopped chasing the ‘quick fix’ and found a teensy bit of space in our daily schedule to get practising, we can support ourselves, not just as we go through unexpected change, but also as we look to create change, as we look to create a new story for ourselves and perhaps even, a new story that can ripple out and become as big as the society we are in.
As Charles Eisenstein says in his wonderful book…“When one goes through a series of initiations like this into the new story, he or she becomes strong in it. Being strong in it, one can hold that story open for other people. Even if someone cannot, in a moment of crisis or when facing her own initiation, believe it for her, holding that possibility open until she is ready to step into it.”
Imagine a world, where each of us understands the importance of “holding the space” for each other, understanding that change can come with many ups and downs, but this process is necessary and through it new possibilities become evident, new inspiring stories, on both an individual level and a societal level? A win win for all.
So, here in summary is my humble version of how these tools really do support us during periods of change, be those changes desired or not. This is my offering around some of the aspects that have really jumped out for me these last couple of years. An overview if you like, of my interpretation of ancient ideas that help us humans shift and transform into better versions of ourselves.
This is my ‘list’….not in any particular order, because everything blends and merges, then re-blends and on and on……its just helpful to simplify in order to know there IS a process. Trust it, trust yourself and find the courage to create change you know you need. Creating something new isn’t easy, feeling all the feels of the old story is harder, and thats the part that requires the support, the self love and the tools……
Of course Courage, resilience, and a new idea, along with an ability to believe in the idea is required to instigate any change….but what has really resonated for me, whats stood out, what was the hardest aspect was the UNLEARNING process. Being willing to let go of the old story. Being willing to look at what had created that old story. That, was the part that I didn’t quite get, that was the ‘sticky’ bit, the painful part, the place of all resistance. But it is an inevitable and fundamental part of the process. On an intellectual level I knew this, I’d been taught this, but I hadn’t quite allowed myself to experience it.
The unlearning is the part where the old stories can drop away, not because we are teaching ourselves on the mind-level, but because we have allowed ourselves to feel into them, to acknowledge them, to ‘see’ them. This is such an important part of the healing process, on both an emotional and physical level. And this has to happen because it allows these old stories to transform, to change, to soften and to release…..and after that comes the ‘space’. The space that is created is important, without this ‘space’ or gaps in our thinking, HOW can new ideas come to us? If we are re-cycling old stories in our minds all the time, how can we possibly hear helpful useful inspiration via our intuition??
No one teaches us this stuff (well they didn’t when we were kids!), in fact the majority of us were likely taught to put that inspiring “nonsense” to one side and get in and study hard! Which means in our ’grown up’ minds, it can all sound very conceptual and unfathomable. So, I like to imagine that as I unlearn those thoughts and experiences, these “misperceptions” begin to turn to dust and simply move away on the breeze. You might use a different way of imagining, but don’t underestimate your imagination for this…..your brain really dosen’t know that its true or not, so go for your life in the way you feel into, and use your practices; such as visualisation, meditation etc.
Now, its important that you don’t think I’m telling you its as easy as wafting dust out of our brains every morning in meditation!! The Unlearning usually requires support of some kind, be it your own practise of meditation, mindfulness, Yoga, mindful movement, therapy……..my point here is that in order to create change, we have to do things differently, and in order to do that we have to choose our method of unlearning, and we have to SUPPORT ourselves as we go through this process, this “Letting go”…..call it what you like, but its essentially our old story coming apart and we may just need some help along the way.
So prepare, prepare for change logically, but prepare for your self care practise too, because ultimately that’s whats gonna get you through the tough stuff as it comes up. Not the goals or plans that you set, but the support you can give yourself emotionally and physically.
Next thing….again that I had ‘learnt’ but not fully embraced: “Baby-steps”….which was something I didn’t really take on board! Having that tendency to expect big things of myself, baby steps just weren’t going to ‘cut it’, in my old story!! So, despite my teachers often sharing this little simple piece of wisdom, I had to learn it for myself!
Change is a process, jumping in one huge leap (kinda like I tried to do!) will be like tying an elastic band to your waist whilst running the 100m sprint…..for all the enthusiasm and euphoria of running that race, you’ll just keep PINGING back until you either give up or pause, unstrap and start walking! So, hear the advise and see if you can allow yourself to implement it, or at least notice after those first few “pull backs” that slowing down, breaking it into bite sized chunks is a worthy and sustainable way of moving through change!
GROUNDING ~ use your Body
What am I talking about here? Bit conceptual?…..for me it was! Feeling into my body was a very abstract process. I’d pretty much disconnected from it a long while back, and so, whilst practicing Yoga helped begin the process, I also needed the therapy, because intellect and mind for me had always been the overriding way of dealing with pretty much everything (and as I’ve noted above, this ‘brain’ of ours holds no new answers, only repeating stories in different ways!)….I think most of us operate this way, with our logic and logic alone, we aren’t taught how our bodies talk to us, and how to process emotions healthily. Anyway, thats another blog!
Staying with the body, this year I began to experience Sciatica in my knee, ……. Again, I had to practise what I’d been taught. Just allowing myself to lay and feel it. Sounded too simplistic, but I read so much about it, heard it, been taught it, now was my opportunity to Know it.
My old story held many beliefs around body, one being that “my body is a machine, it can be put through punishing workouts in order that it stays strong and NEVER lets me down, end of!”….quite brutal disconnected self talk around the body. My story needed to shift to something more like; “my body is my home, it feels, it communicates with me and I need to connect with it in order to live a full healthy version of me”.
With the help of amazing holistic body workers, that I trusted and knew I’m reacquainting myself with my body, learning to be kind and gentle in my approach.
My point is, as we shed our layers of that metaphorical onion, we may experience them as old pains re-emerging, perhaps illness, alongside what seems obvious kick backs such as the financial effects, relationship and career challenges. Holding the space for yourself, regardless of how your old ‘layers’ show up, is key, they’ll come in forms we can’t always understand initially….a meditation practise, mindfulness cultivates the ability to observe whats happening, which in turn allows us to ‘feel’ what happening, and in doing so we start to learn, we start to release and transform what we didn’t know we were holding onto.
Make friends with your body, get to know it, listen to it, feel it, move it in ways that bring you joy and balance….its a huge huge, huge tool to your healing, any Yogi will tell you that!
Now I understand Grounding and its importance.
This is simple. Pay attention to what you read, listen to, eat, discuss….all of it, It has an impact. You can ask yourself quite simply, “is this nourishing me?” When you pick up the newspaper, or flick through socials, bag of crisps, phone for a gossips, or watch the news etc etc ……..maybe sometimes you choose to carry on, but aim to do it with awareness, non judgement and you’ll notice there will be a draw towards what is nourishing, and away from what isn’t.
Start now. You have a spiritual muscle and if that has been out of action for some time, probably years, start bringing it back to life. However conceptual that feels, we are Mind, Body & Spirit and all three aspects require loving attention to bring ourselves back to Balance.
So get curious with meditation, mindfulness, mindful movement, breathwork….there are so many versions out there, and remember there is no right or wrong option, you try a variety of approaches until one resonates, and from that you cultivate a practise that calms your mind, in turn calms your nervous system, in turn is appreciated by your body allowing your Soul, Spirit to be felt…..your Intuition. Your gonna need this for when things don’t look clear, and logic isn’t bringing any solutions. You want to hone your ability to tune into that part of you, daily, that part of you which is greater than you can imagine.
So begin to simply work out what returns you to a place of feeling calm and peaceful every-time. It can be many thing I’d suggest meditation at the top of the list, because you can carry it with you anywhere, but also walking in nature, cooking, mindfulness, definitely some form of movement, reading. Whats important is that you use YOUR subtle felt sense to explore this.
(See our previous posts on “Felt Sense” on Instagram @roam-retreat)
This plays a part. This aspect is why things can sometimes take time. If we have spent our entire lives “playing small and not stepping up, being seen” then it’s perhaps gonna take a little while to match what you truly believe is possible, with what you truly see when you look in the mirror. So give yourself time for your subconscious to “catch up” with where your going, because IT WILL. It truly will, when you nurture yourself and give yourself the time and patience to feel all the feels, that part that didn’t believe you could, slowly starts to feel the difference in your mindset, the shifts, the release, and it will get onboard. Patience is key here, patience in yourself, and trust in the process.
HOLD THE VISION…..but hold it SOFTLY!
Remember, you are visualising new things, but you will still be basing it partly on what you’ve seen and how you’ve experienced that in your lifetime up till this point. Be open to the ‘vision’ coming through with some differences, be willing to take a few swerves to feel into it. Usually, as they always say, the result is often better than we can ever imagine and at the base of it, its more about the way your able to “BE” in the world. It dosen’t really matter what car, house, career we can create or have…its HOW we are able to be and express ourselves. The ultimate ‘vision’ is freedom to be us, the rest is wonderful side effects.
PATIENCE & SELF CARE
These could fall under nourishment, but I put these together because for me I had very little for myself, and they had to come hand in hand. Patience grew as the self care grew….and by ‘self care’ I mean creating a do-able daily routine that results in you genuinely caring and feeling good about who you are. Feeling peaceful, and able to lovingly look at yourself in the mirror, it takes time, hence daily discipline of some form is crucial to support this. Choose what you know gets you there, gets you to a place of liking yourself, and then just ask of yourself to SHOW UP everyday, regardless!
STAY OPEN TO AN UNLIKELY DETOUR
Sometimes we have to be open to a ‘detour’. This is kind of where I am now, looking at whats in front of me feels a little like stepping back in time, but perhaps there is something I need to learn still? After this year, I’m able to observe and wonder that perhaps my old ideas around a situation are more open and that maybe it could be different, let’s see? I’ll feedback once this chapter opens up.
My point here is that the path towards change is never a straight road and I know my determination for the direction I wanted to go towards, meant I hadn’t been open to ideas outside of that. This has been a hard lesson to learn, to let go of that grasping. But once we let go we are open to heading off and explore, perhaps, the complete opposite of where we wanted to go. It may just be a necessary part of the process too, taking a detour!
So find ways that help you reach a place of acceptance. Remember, we only know what has been before, we don’t know the future, we can only hold the vision and trust it’ll come. Thats where I am now, detouring. But looking to do it with an open heart, an open mind, and enjoy what that brings. You never know, I might surprise myself!
Three years ago when Roam Retreats became an actual “thing”, I had this underlying sense that I wasn’t fully equipped! I kind of knew, that whilst I’d done alot of work on myself and I’d taken my trainings, I kinda had a sneaky sense that I was going to have lift up that big rock and look underneath it, fully!! No more selecting my ‘layers’ that I was willing to clear!!
Throwing the baby out with the bath water, strapping that elastic round my waist whilst I kept running the 100m sprint with my ambition, drive and striving in full tact backfired hugely! I had to find a level of humility that I had dared not go near before, for fear of appearing weak. It’s taken me to a place of immense doubt, darkness, intense self enquiry, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I’m creating change, I’m creating a life that feels like I’m doing what I’m here to do. I have had to swallow a lot of pride, I’ve had to really look at my “story”, and let it fall apart. In doing so, I’ve begun truly learning to simply “Be” in the world, in a way that feels just that bit more authentic. Of course, its a journey, but finding the joy in the learning (or rather Unlearning!) along the way is the beauty, the goals themselves kind of dissolve, and we learn to walk stopping to smell the flowers on the way.
If I could wave a magic wand and create a hugely successful business overnight would I appreciate it as much? Of course not! I would be operating in the same “Louise story” that I was in ten years ago. The one that applied immense pressure on myself, the one that was always running out of time, that wasn’t good enough, striving, striving, striving, missing out on what was actually important, valuable and the point of being alive!
I still, and will always look towards my teachers (current & future), I’m still finding inspiration from people doing things that I find inspiring and worthy, that dosen’t end. As my wonderful, insightful and patient teacher Debbie would say to me “Its a process Louise, your not a once and done!” None of us are.
If we were, we wouldn’t be here with breath in our body……..we are all here to create. Owning that power may take a while, for others it may be fast, point is, learn to enjoy the ride and appreciate your Truth…you are here for a reason, whatever your beliefs, you ARE here to shine, so is everyone else. So stop dulling down your Light, the world needs it, and others need to see you doing it.
If you’d like to explore more with us both at Roam Retreats, see our “When & Where” page on the website.
We offer one day workshops, 4/5 days retreats and online events, alongside one to ones’.
So if this inspired you to move ahead with your journey towards “Change” and you are looking for some support to UNLEARN the old to make way for the new, send me a mail email@example.com for one to one counselling and/or overall packages including Yoga and breathwork.
If you’d like to read the fabulous book I had on my bookshelf for 4 years, these are the details; THE More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know IS Possible by Charles Eisenstein.